CHICAGO

One of those "You know you're from **Your City here** if..." lists.....

- You end your sentences with prepositions: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall, I wanna go with," or "Come by and pick me up."
- You know what Kennedy, Dan Ryan, Eisenhower, Edens, and Bishop Ford, have in common and curse one of them daily.
- You know what "the Hillside strangler is."
- You can name three or four extra taxes nobody else pays.
- You know the difference between Richard J Daley and Richard M Daley.
- You can use two or three Daleyisms in context.
- You can imitate the Mayor's whine.
- You say Chicawgo and not Chicaago.
- You think going to a Bears game in single digit temperatures with a wind off the lake (and freezing rain) is fun.
- Da is a proper definite article. (Da Bears, Da Bulls)
- You expect corruption in local politics.
- You go to the Dells in the summer to get away from the other 20 thousand that followed you.
- You've been caught speeding in Wisconsin because you had Illinois plates.
- You guard your shoveled parking space with an old chair and unusable broom.
- You know why they call it "the Windy City."
- You know dead people who voted.
- You understand the Democratic machine and don't fight against it.
- You've never ever considered the idea of hiring non-union laborers.
- You've never been to Springfield.
- You know a good Italian Beef/Hot Dog joint.
- You know what Giordanos, Lou Malnati's, and Gino's have in common.
- You know when the last time the Cubs won a pennant.
- You know exactly how many cars are "legally" allowed to turn left after the light turns red.
- You don't know which ethnic "fest" to choose on any given Summer weekend.
- Your idea of relaxing and getting away from it all is Ravinia (with 10,000 others who have the same idea).
- You can recite many of "The Blues Brothers" lines and know where they filmed certain scenes.
- You consider paying someone to watch your car at a sporting event as just another "city tax."
- The "Living Room" is called the "front room" (pronounced fronchroom)
- You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois. You become irate at people who do
- You measure distance in minutes (especially "from the city"). And you swear everything is pretty much 15 minutes away
- You refer to anything South of I-80 as "Southern Illinois"
- You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake"
- You refer to Chicago as "The City"
- "The Super Bowl" refers to one specific game in a series of 35 played in January of 1986
- You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and anyone who beats the Packers!
- You buy "The Trib"
- You think 35 degrees is great weather to wash your car!
- You know what goes on a Chicago Style Hot Dog
- You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is
- You understand what "lake-effect" means
- You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra, and know which station they end up at.
- You have ridden the "L"
- You can distinguish between the following area codes: 847,630,773,708, 312, & 815
- You respond to the question "Where are you from" with a side" example:"WEST SIDE", "SOUTH SIDE" or "NORTHSIDE."
- You know what the phone number is to Empire Carpet!
- You wear gym shoes, not sneakers.
- Your favorite melody to hum is "Bang,Bang,Bang-Skeet,Skeet,Skeet!!!!"
- You faithfully attended Lil Louis parties at The Bismarck.
- You GOT to have spaghetti at your barbecue. (Damn straight)
- You are STILL a Bulls fan........
- You think kicking it outside of White Castles parking lot, (79th and Stony Island) is the "Freak Nik"
- You go to Harold`s and order 4 pc wing, mild sauce, salt and pepper.
- You have a picture of Harold Washington in your kitchen, living room, family room or basement.
- You have ever waited in line at Home of the Hoagy on 111th for 30-45 minutes for a steak samich wit cheese
- You have ever been to the Tiki Room lounge in Hyde Park
- You have made a special trip downtown because you had a craving for Garrett's caramel and cheese popcorn.
- What!!! We don`t get a Fifty? Oh yeah....
- You drink at bars called "Bud on Tap" or "Milwaukee's Best" -- no names, just beer signs out front.
- It's January and you see someones kitchen chair in the street, and you know that if you're a responsible citizen and bring it back to the sidewalk you will be shot on sight
- You live two miles from work and it takes you two hours to drive there
- You don't flinch when you pay the fifth toll of your 45-minute car ride on the highway
- When you read a big story in the paper about mob ties in the city government, your first reaction is "So, tell me something I don't know."
- You know Lincoln Towing is Satan incarnate.
- You've paid $105 for towing, $30 for more than one "street cleaning" ticket, $58 for a city vehicle sticker, and $70 for a license plate sticker -- and chalk it all up to "neighborhood taxes."
- You pluralize grocery stores and retail chains: "I'm going to Jewels"; "I bought it at Targets"; "I couldn't find parking at Wal-Marts"
- You've taken the Red Line past the point where all white people get off and all black people get on -- or vice versa.
- You've cursed at a cyclist, pedestrian, or in-line skater on the lakefront path.
- You know the significance of State and Madison.
- You wonder if the fries will taste the same at Sammy Sosa's Restaurant.
- You don't miss Planet Hollywood.
- You're not ashamed of wearing a big fur Russian hat, or a headsock with one hole in it, in public from November through March.
- Your school classes were canceled because of the cold weather.
- Your school classes were canceled because of the hot weather.
- You've switched from heat to air conditioning in the same day.
- Your grocery stores don't have sacks; they have bags.
- Your idea of a great sandwich is when the meat is twice as big as the bun, it has everything on it, and a slice of dill pickle is on the side.
- You understand that I-290, I-90, I-94, and I-294 are all different highways.
- You always carry jumper cables in your car.
- You drink "pop," not soda or even worse "coke."
- No matter where you are, when you hear the term "Downtown," you immediately assume they're talking about downtown Chicago.
- You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "DesPlaines."
- You drive to the North suburbs by taking "The Outer Drive" even though no such road exists.
- Your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May
- You've worn shorts and a parka at the same time
- "Vacation" means going anywhere south of I-80 for the weekend
- You can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching
- You carry jumpers in your car, and your wife knows how to use them
- You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit
- You're going 80 in a 55 zone and everybody is passing you
- You think driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow
- You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction
- You have more miles on your snow blower than your car
- You find 10 degrees "a little chilly"

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm....

Well I got on here this morning all set to break my previous promise about no more drama, but after some thought I realized that it's a silly issue that may very well not involve me anyways, so let's talk Racing and other sports instead!

Racing season is over, the ever "Brokeback" Jimmie Johnson is the NASCAR Cup Champion, which is a pseudo 5th title for his equally "Brokeback" car owner Jeff Gordon. Yeah I know that they're most likely not gay, but what the hell, I don't like them.

Roger "The Captain" Penske ended yet another successful season in the Indy Car series with Sam Hornish, Jr. winning both the Indy 500 and the Indy Car Championship.

Champ Car saw another title for Sebastien Bourdais and Newman-Haas Racing, and as always more whining, strange behavior and over-aggressive driving from Paul Tracy. He's a talented driver for sure, but has probably wrecked himself out of more race wins and Championships than anyone else, all the while continually whining that it's not his fault.

Dominant can't even describe Kevin Harvick's season in the NASCAR Busch Series. he didn't just open a can of Whoop-Ass on the field, he unloaded a damned tanker truck!! He also came fairly close to the NASCAR Cup title. Not only would he have been the first driver to win both Busch and Cup titles in the same season, but he also would have been only the second driver to win both titles at all (Bobby Labonte was the 1991 Busch Champion and the 2000 Cup Champion). One would think that Busch Series success could translate to Cup success, but this seems to be a rare occurrence. Recent Busch Champions such as Johhny Benson, Jeff Green, David Green and Randy Lajoie either never got good rides or didn't drive good enough. The jury is still out with Kevin Harvick and Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Both have had definite success in the Cup series but neither has a Championship to show for it.

Of course now we are in the real meat of the NFL season, and Da Bears have already clinched the NFC North Division title and will likely have a first round bye and home field throughout the playoffs. Only issue is they are on top of not only a mediocre division, but are clinging to the first seed in what is clearly the inferior of the two conferences. With the lackluster play of QB Rex Grossman, the Bears are only in the position they're in due to what is truly a dominant defense (although a bit suspect against the run) and above average special teams (both Devin Hester and Robby Gould should be Pro-Bowl picks). IF they can make it through what looks like Dallas and/or New Orleans and actually get to the Super Bowl, the Chargers may well be the team they face. I have to give that match up to the Chargers and the running attack of LaDainian Tomlinson. The other likely team would be the Patriots, who the Bears have already played this year in a game which featured 9 combined turnovers. IF, and I do mean IF Rex Grossman can take care of the ball better, then that would be a very winnable game for the Bears.

Not much else going on sportswise. Not really big into basketball, although the Bulls seem well on their way back to at least being perennial playoff contenders. As for hockey, I would LOVE to fully support the Blackhawks, but until Bill Wirtz and any of his influence is completely removed from this team then I don't give a rat's ass. Sure I'll be happy if they start winning, but once they start winning then players want more money, which is when "Dollar" Bill let's them go so he can start rebuilding with cheaper players. This is a man who is allegedly quoted as saying that "Stanley Cups are too expensive!". So until he's pushing up the daises I'll be on the Carolina Hurricanes bandwagon.

Baseball is always interesting for me since I have dual loyalties to both the Cubs and the White Sox. This is sacrilege to some, but they're both Chicago, and have no real impact on each other save for 6 inter league games. The Sox of course failed to defend their World Championship, and didn't even make the playoffs, while the Cubs were clearly the worst team in the National League, though they did handle the eventual World Champion Cardinals. Both teams need pitching, especially the Cubs. They signed Alfonso Soriano, which is HUGE, but is also moot unless they can come up with 2-3 more decent starters. Zambrano should be good, but past that, who knows? Kerry Wood is moving to the bullpen and I'm really sick of hearing "if Mark Prior were just healthy".

Never get too heavy into college sports. Illinois football sucks and Notre Dame is overrated because, well, they're Notre Dame (I'm still a fan). Illinois basketball has been decent of late, but most likely I probably won't really start paying real attention until it's close to Tournament time.

The 2007 racing season will begin early. My "kickoff" to the season is normally the Rolex 24 at Daytona, which I got used to being a week after the Super Bowl. Last year it was the same weekend and in 2007 it will be the week before...BONUS!!!