CHICAGO

One of those "You know you're from **Your City here** if..." lists.....

- You end your sentences with prepositions: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall, I wanna go with," or "Come by and pick me up."
- You know what Kennedy, Dan Ryan, Eisenhower, Edens, and Bishop Ford, have in common and curse one of them daily.
- You know what "the Hillside strangler is."
- You can name three or four extra taxes nobody else pays.
- You know the difference between Richard J Daley and Richard M Daley.
- You can use two or three Daleyisms in context.
- You can imitate the Mayor's whine.
- You say Chicawgo and not Chicaago.
- You think going to a Bears game in single digit temperatures with a wind off the lake (and freezing rain) is fun.
- Da is a proper definite article. (Da Bears, Da Bulls)
- You expect corruption in local politics.
- You go to the Dells in the summer to get away from the other 20 thousand that followed you.
- You've been caught speeding in Wisconsin because you had Illinois plates.
- You guard your shoveled parking space with an old chair and unusable broom.
- You know why they call it "the Windy City."
- You know dead people who voted.
- You understand the Democratic machine and don't fight against it.
- You've never ever considered the idea of hiring non-union laborers.
- You've never been to Springfield.
- You know a good Italian Beef/Hot Dog joint.
- You know what Giordanos, Lou Malnati's, and Gino's have in common.
- You know when the last time the Cubs won a pennant.
- You know exactly how many cars are "legally" allowed to turn left after the light turns red.
- You don't know which ethnic "fest" to choose on any given Summer weekend.
- Your idea of relaxing and getting away from it all is Ravinia (with 10,000 others who have the same idea).
- You can recite many of "The Blues Brothers" lines and know where they filmed certain scenes.
- You consider paying someone to watch your car at a sporting event as just another "city tax."
- The "Living Room" is called the "front room" (pronounced fronchroom)
- You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois. You become irate at people who do
- You measure distance in minutes (especially "from the city"). And you swear everything is pretty much 15 minutes away
- You refer to anything South of I-80 as "Southern Illinois"
- You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake"
- You refer to Chicago as "The City"
- "The Super Bowl" refers to one specific game in a series of 35 played in January of 1986
- You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and anyone who beats the Packers!
- You buy "The Trib"
- You think 35 degrees is great weather to wash your car!
- You know what goes on a Chicago Style Hot Dog
- You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is
- You understand what "lake-effect" means
- You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra, and know which station they end up at.
- You have ridden the "L"
- You can distinguish between the following area codes: 847,630,773,708, 312, & 815
- You respond to the question "Where are you from" with a side" example:"WEST SIDE", "SOUTH SIDE" or "NORTHSIDE."
- You know what the phone number is to Empire Carpet!
- You wear gym shoes, not sneakers.
- Your favorite melody to hum is "Bang,Bang,Bang-Skeet,Skeet,Skeet!!!!"
- You faithfully attended Lil Louis parties at The Bismarck.
- You GOT to have spaghetti at your barbecue. (Damn straight)
- You are STILL a Bulls fan........
- You think kicking it outside of White Castles parking lot, (79th and Stony Island) is the "Freak Nik"
- You go to Harold`s and order 4 pc wing, mild sauce, salt and pepper.
- You have a picture of Harold Washington in your kitchen, living room, family room or basement.
- You have ever waited in line at Home of the Hoagy on 111th for 30-45 minutes for a steak samich wit cheese
- You have ever been to the Tiki Room lounge in Hyde Park
- You have made a special trip downtown because you had a craving for Garrett's caramel and cheese popcorn.
- What!!! We don`t get a Fifty? Oh yeah....
- You drink at bars called "Bud on Tap" or "Milwaukee's Best" -- no names, just beer signs out front.
- It's January and you see someones kitchen chair in the street, and you know that if you're a responsible citizen and bring it back to the sidewalk you will be shot on sight
- You live two miles from work and it takes you two hours to drive there
- You don't flinch when you pay the fifth toll of your 45-minute car ride on the highway
- When you read a big story in the paper about mob ties in the city government, your first reaction is "So, tell me something I don't know."
- You know Lincoln Towing is Satan incarnate.
- You've paid $105 for towing, $30 for more than one "street cleaning" ticket, $58 for a city vehicle sticker, and $70 for a license plate sticker -- and chalk it all up to "neighborhood taxes."
- You pluralize grocery stores and retail chains: "I'm going to Jewels"; "I bought it at Targets"; "I couldn't find parking at Wal-Marts"
- You've taken the Red Line past the point where all white people get off and all black people get on -- or vice versa.
- You've cursed at a cyclist, pedestrian, or in-line skater on the lakefront path.
- You know the significance of State and Madison.
- You wonder if the fries will taste the same at Sammy Sosa's Restaurant.
- You don't miss Planet Hollywood.
- You're not ashamed of wearing a big fur Russian hat, or a headsock with one hole in it, in public from November through March.
- Your school classes were canceled because of the cold weather.
- Your school classes were canceled because of the hot weather.
- You've switched from heat to air conditioning in the same day.
- Your grocery stores don't have sacks; they have bags.
- Your idea of a great sandwich is when the meat is twice as big as the bun, it has everything on it, and a slice of dill pickle is on the side.
- You understand that I-290, I-90, I-94, and I-294 are all different highways.
- You always carry jumper cables in your car.
- You drink "pop," not soda or even worse "coke."
- No matter where you are, when you hear the term "Downtown," you immediately assume they're talking about downtown Chicago.
- You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "DesPlaines."
- You drive to the North suburbs by taking "The Outer Drive" even though no such road exists.
- Your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May
- You've worn shorts and a parka at the same time
- "Vacation" means going anywhere south of I-80 for the weekend
- You can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching
- You carry jumpers in your car, and your wife knows how to use them
- You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit
- You're going 80 in a 55 zone and everybody is passing you
- You think driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow
- You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction
- You have more miles on your snow blower than your car
- You find 10 degrees "a little chilly"