I don't know what to say.....

Well if I have any regular readers you know that a theme of late has been my bad behavior towards another person. I wanted to make things right, but I even screwed that up and am not very welcome somewhere anymore. People trusted me and I let them down, and all indications are that my most recent attempt at an apology is being rebuked.

Admittedly I'd like to know exactly what's being said about me behind the scenes, because I'm sure it sounds far worse than my side of things, which one of these days I will post, but I'm not really ready to post that yet, it's a long story.

Well that was humbling!

Well if you look back on the Revelations post you'll see where I spilled out some bad behavior of mine that occured over the past three years, and quite honestly even occured quite recently. Well, the person that was the object of my obsession just spilled out their own side of the story, albeit not directly to me, but yeah, I know where it was going.

As a side note: I'm being deliberately vague here. Some will know what I'm talking about, but I'd rather keep it to those already in the know. It's for the same reason that I'm not linking to what was said.

I'm the type of person that sometimes needs a somewhat extreme circumstance to change my ways, and while an online dressing down is not exactly extreme, in this case I think maybe the point was finally driven home. I do need to spend less time worrying about something that happened three years ago, and more time focusing on making things better in the here and now.

One interesting point though, is that in reading the words that laid out what someone else thinks of me, I think I may finally have the answers I spent three years trying to find. If my hunch is correct, then my earlier assertion that the other person is not all innocent still holds true, but it's even more obvious that my bad behavior was much worse, because until now I never knew exactly how they felt.

The hardest part is in admitting that a catalyst for this whole mess was my own unfufilling life. I'm not very good socially, which makes me feel awkward when I go out, and also makes it hard to have a consistent love life. I've been admitting these issues to myself for years, and have even had them pointed out to me by friends and ex's, but as usual it took unfortunate circumstances to drive the point home.

I've been tagged!!

Well, it looks like I've been tagged. Can't remember when the last time was that I played tag... Thanks Nine Cats for tagging me!

Five Things in the Refrigerator
1. Vienna Beef Franks
2. Marconi Hot Giardinera
3. Diet pepsi
4. Del Alpe Hot Giardinaera Relish
5. Welch's Grape Jelly

Five Things in the Closet
1. Walter Payton jersey
2. laundry hamper
3. winter coats
4. Washer and Dryer (it's like a walk THROUGH closet to my bathroom)
5. Dress shoes and gym shoes

Five Things in the Wallet
1. Drivers license
2. Credit cards
3. Grocery store cards
4. NASCAR Schedule
5. Money

Five Things in the Car
1. Tools
2. Maps
3. Blanket
4. Empty soda bottles
5. old frensh fries not yet cleaned out from under the seat

Five People to Tag
1. Nine Cats
2. Taz
3. Nuggie
4. ?
5. ?

Cool 9/11 Tribute

Thanks to one of my fellow posters at RacingStalkers.com I came upon a 9/11 tribute blog called 2,996 . Here is the post and what it's all about....

2,996 is a tribute to the victims of 9/11.

On September 11, 2006, 2,996 volunteer bloggers will join together for a tribute to the victims of 9/11. Each person will pay tribute to a single victim.

We will honor them by remembering their lives, and not by remembering their murderers.

If you would like to help out, either by pledging to post a tribute on your own blog, or by offering your services to promote this cause, just leave a comment here and I’ll email you the name of a victim.

Then, on 9/11/2006, you will post a tribute to that victim on your blog.

But, and this is critical, the tributes should celebrate the lives of these people–kind of like a wake. Over the last 5 years we’ve heard the names of the killers, and all about the victim’s deaths. This is a chance to learn about and celebrate those who died. Forget the murderers, they don’t deserve to be remembered. But some people who died that day deserve to be remembered–2,996 people.

Thank you,

D.Challener Roe

Click on over and volunteer. This is an awesome way to remember those lost on that awful day.

Contrary to popular belief.....

...I do have a personality.

Introverted (I) 74.19% Extroverted (E) 25.81%
Sensing (S) 55.81% Intuitive (N) 44.19%
Thinking (T) 51.28% Feeling (F) 48.72%
Perceiving (P) 52.78% Judging (J) 47.22%

ISTP - "Engineer". Values freedom of action and following interests and impulses. Independent, concise in speech, master of tools. 5.4% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

Thanks Danimal for sharing the test.

Getting to know you.....

Stolen from TMLSB . One of those wonderful surveys we all know and love.

1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A SECOND HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE? Maybe Daytona Beach, or almost anywhere in western North Carolina

2. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLES OF CLOTHING? Definitely t-shirts. If it has a collar it's because it's required attire.

3. THE LAST CD's YOU BOUGHT? Downloaded Workshop of the Telescopes by Blue Oyster Cult from iTunes.

4. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? Normally about 5:45 on workdays, usually up by 7ish on the weekends.

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE? For those of us that are culinary deficient the microwave kicks some major ass.

6. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I tried and failed miserably at the piano once, maybe I'll try again someday.

7. FAVORITE COLOR? Green

8. WHICH VEHICLE DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR, MOTORCYCLE, OR SUV? Sports Car, preferably a 1970 Mustang BOSS 429



9. DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE AFTERLIFE? Yes, but not sure exactly what version of it I believe in.

10. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK? Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss



11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? Fall.

12. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? Van Halen logo and "5150" on my right shoulder

13. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPERPOWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Invisibility.

14. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Nope

15. ONE PERSON/PEOPLE FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? I'd ask an ex few questions prior to the days before I made myself look like an idiot.

16. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED? Boxes and dust bunnies

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DAY? Sunday...which is normally race day

18. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? Cheeseborger! Cheeseborger! Pepsi, no Coke!

19. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER? I've never really had a good answer for this, usually summed it up as a "girlie" question, but that's not necessarily true, so probably tulips.

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAL? Just about anything Italian so long as lots of garlic, pasta and Italian sausage are involved. Either that or a Italian "sassage" (Chicago pronunciation) and Beef Combo "samich" with mozzarella and hot giardinera.

21. DESCRIBE YOUR PJS. T-Shirt and skivvies.

22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BREAKFAST? Blueberry pancakes, breakfast sausage and a sausage and cheese omelet.

23. DO YOU LIKE YOUR JOB? Love it!!!

24. WHAT IS YOUR DREAM JOB? Pit Crew

25. WHAT AGE DO YOU PLAN TO RETIRE? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

26. WHERE DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER? Don't currently have one of those, but my most recent ex I met online.

27. SOMETHING YOU WOULD LIKE TO DO THAT YOU HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE. Vacation in Italy or Australia

Well I'll be damned.....

I just realized that I've titled my blog under a Jimmy Buffett inspired name, yet have provided no linkage to Buffett related sites. My apologies for this horrendous oversight, it will be corrected immediately.

P.S. I find it strangely amusing that the Spell Checker doesn't recognize the word BLOG...LOL

Hypocrisy

From Dictionary.com

hy·poc·ri·sy - Pronunciation Key (h-pkr-s)
n. pl. hy·poc·ri·sies

1. The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness.
2. An act or instance of such falseness.


That's our word for the day. Thanks for your time :)

Racing

Both the people that have visited my little corner of cyberspace may have noticed some links to racing related websites. I am very much a motorsports fan above any other sports. Yes, racing IS a sport. I don't care how talented of a football or baseball player you are. 2 or more hours crammed into the cockpit of a racecar, trying to control that car at 200+ MPH, while 20 to 30 friends are doing the same thing and trying to do it better than you are, will wear your ass out.

I had a limited interest in racing when I was a kid, I watched the Indianapolis 500 almost every year and knew the names Andretti, Foyt, Unser and Mears, and also that Roger Penske was a very successful car owner, especially in the Indianapolis race. I also knew that NASCAR existed and that the big names were Petty and Earnhardt. In the early 90's I was drawn into TV ads that featured the Indy Car and NASCAR stock car sponsored my Miller Genuine Draft (driven by Bobby Rahal and Rusty Wallace respectively, with Rusty driving for renowned Indy Car owner Roger Penske). I was a big MGD fan at the time, and if I happened to catch a snippet of a race I would see how the MGD cars were doing. Not fully bitten by the bug just yet, but he was buzzing around. In 1995 I finally watched my first flag to flag NASCAR telecast, the Daytona 500, and caught a couple other races that year. For no rhyme or reason the bug bit, and in 1996 I threw myself feet first into NASCAR, CART (now Champ Car), Formula One and a new series called the Indy Racing League. I didn't like them at first because the "real drivers" of the CART series were not at the Indy 500 anymore.

This season marks my 10th Anniversary as a full fledged racing nut, and if it has wheels and an engine I'll watch it. Rusty Wallace has now retired, his seat being filled by youngster Kurt Busch, who has million dollar driving talent but a 5 cent head (to borrow a line from "Bull Durham"). I'll give him a chance since "The Captain" has.

In Indy Car news there are still 2 open wheel series, although most of the big names have now fled from Champ Car to the IRL, mainly because that's where the Indy 500 is. Roger Penske continues to win at Indianapolis, having won 4 more 500's under the IRL banner for a total of 14.

Reunification rumors run rampant as always, although now both sides acknowledge that there are indeed negotiations in progress. This split has hurt open wheel racing in the United States, and sent most of the casual fans jumping onto the NASCAR bandwagon, fueling that ever growing juggernaught. Although worldwide Formula One is the real king.

By watching it all it gives me a chance to observe the different types of fans that each series have. NASCAR fans usually trend towards your blue collar "regular guy" type of fan, a guy who likes a little beating and banging and who likes to see a lot of passing and more aggressive driving. Although with NASCAR being the "cool" thing right now the appeal is crossing all sorts of boundaries.

Champ Car and Formula One fans trend towards the upscale a bit more. They want to see technology at work, and how a team will use that technology to create the fastest car. This is especially true in Formula One where team budgets rival those of small countries and the latest in technological advances are a must.

The Indy Racing League creates a bit of a melding between the open wheel world and the stock car world. You have high tech open wheel cars, but the nature of the racing rivals even the most competitive stock car races. I've personally witnessed some truly nail biting moments.

Well that's all the rambling for now.

Revelations

Seems like an appropiate title on 6-6-06, although the subject matter has nothing to do with the apocalypse (I hope).

Actually it's more about things about myself being revealed to myself. I won't bore everyone (both of you) with all the details, it is a lengthy story. Short version...

I became obsessed trying to find out the real circumstances behind something that happened a few years ago, and in the process did some pretty stupid things, like trash talking about someone and giving out personal info (even if with good intentions), and just in general making myself look like a complete dumbass. At this point I'm pretty sure that it's too late to ever really mend fences with this person, although I am truly sorry that I did any of it.

My revelation you ask? I officially NEED A LIFE!!!!!! I suppose if I got involved with something or even just read a damn book I wouldn't have the time to fret over this crap. Everything would have been fine if I could have just left well enough alone.

Now in the interest of full disclosure, it's not like the other person is some innocent victim, they took their share of subtle digs, as well as deceiving me at the onset of the entire situation, but some of that was in response to my behavior.

Bottom line, I need a life, and need to just forget this whole deal. Hopefully sharing a vague yet revealing account will help purge my soul a bit.